While back in my old home town I showed Tera the bridge that I jumped off of when I was in high school. Her response:
As I gazed down and looked at the muddy greenish water below me I kind of wondered the same thing.
"Honestly, pumpkin, I have no idea what possessed me to take a leap ----- several times."
But that is me thinking as an older, middle aged man. There is something about losing that shroud of youthful invincibility that changes your perspective on the world. Which, in my case, turned out to be a very good thing.
Young man: Woooo!!!!
Older man (I'm not going to OLD just yet): There could be anything floating beneath the surface.....I could, like, get impaled by a large tree branch or something.
Young man: Hold on, I gotta take off my shoes...These are my good Nikes.
Older man: I bet that river water is going to make my car smell.
Young man: Do you wanna live forever? Woo-hoo! (splash)
Older man: I'd like to survive today....
I was once told that before I jumped I needed to be on the look out for any groups of v shaped waves --- Gar.
Young man: No problem.
Older man: Yeah, shit on this. I'm out.
"Honestly, pumpkin, I have no idea what possessed me to take a leap ----- several times."
But that is me thinking as an older, middle aged man. There is something about losing that shroud of youthful invincibility that changes your perspective on the world. Which, in my case, turned out to be a very good thing.
Young man: Woooo!!!!
Older man (I'm not going to OLD just yet): There could be anything floating beneath the surface.....I could, like, get impaled by a large tree branch or something.
Young man: Hold on, I gotta take off my shoes...These are my good Nikes.
Older man: I bet that river water is going to make my car smell.
Young man: Do you wanna live forever? Woo-hoo! (splash)
Older man: I'd like to survive today....
I was once told that before I jumped I needed to be on the look out for any groups of v shaped waves --- Gar.
Young man: No problem.
Older man: Yeah, shit on this. I'm out.
Other examples of how the passing of time can change a man......
The Gridiron...
Football is great a way to illustrate the clear differences between young and old.
As a young man who just saw a teammate de-cleat an opponent:
"OOOOHHHHHH!!!! YEAH! THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT, BABY. THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT. WOO!!!"
As an older man who just witnessed the same de-cleater:
"OOOOHHHHH!!!! Jesus that looked painful. Is he gonna get up? I wouldn't.....I bet he has a concussion....
Diet (or lack thereof)...
Young man: Yeah, I'll have two big mac meals, supersized, and a Dr. Pepper with each. Thanks.
Older Man: I'll have the 6 oz. ribeye -- and can I get a box? I'm only going to eat half.
(Toby can eat not one, but TWO Chipotle burritos in one sitting --- and then go for ice cream afterwards. I'm insanely jealous.)
Music...
Young Man: Dude, check out my car stereo system. I got 6.5 Bose speakers in the front and back, a Pioneer head unit, 10 inch Rockford Fosgate subs with a Fosgate amp.....It's killer.
Older Man: You know a hearing aid is cheaper, right?
Young Man: Dude, check out the bass on this on song. Doesn't it hit hard?
Older Man: Your music shouldn't feel like it's punching you in the chest. Am I having heart palpitations?
(Okay....I have to admit. Toby has his first car and I'm just as geeked up about decking out his car as he is.....We are going to drive Momma crazy.)
Physical Fitness:
Young Man: Gotta work out at least four days a week. Gotta do that killer ab routine. Gotta get that v shape, the six pack, gotta get that separation between the biceps and triceps......
Older man: I gotta quit hurting myself. Shit, how long is this going to take to heal?
Young Man: Gotta work the core. Planks and crunches man.....Gotta lose the love handles.
Older man: I fear these love handles are a permanent fixture....Sigh. But, you know, should I ever get stranded in the wilderness that six pack, that lack of body fat, won't do me a lick of good. I mean, what if my love handles are the difference between dying in the woods or surviving to see my family again.
I better have another doughnut.
Drinking...
Young Man: Case of beer, bottle of Jack. Let's drink and watch the sun come up.
Older Man: Six pack. Drink one, fall asleep on the couch at 8:30 while only halfway through the second beer.
I'm sure I can think of more examples. But you get the idea.
If it sounds like I'm complaining I'm really not. I actually like being older. Sure, I don't move worth a shit anymore, my metabolism has slowed, and I can't drink like a I used to (actually don't miss that.....moderation is good) but as on older man I'm a lot more comfortable in my own skin.
Let the young ones run wild. I'll be content with sitting at home with a cup of coffee (or wine) and a book......A book that I have to hold far away from my face so that I can read it.
Bifocals anyone? Shit.....
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