Dishes are like rabbits; they multiply and multiply and multiply.
Before I became a stay at home dad I had no idea we even owned as many dishes as I've washed; thank God the dishwasher takes care of most of it.
The dishes that don't make it into the dish washer are the ones you have to wash with a scouring pad, chisel, hydrochloric acid, a hazmat suit, belt sander, and buffing machine with a steel wool attachment. I've really grown to despise scrubbing pots and pans.
And even though I've burnt my fair share of food to the bottom of a pan, Karla seems to create piles of dishes in need elbow grease and sweat equity......And yet, unlike my culinary disasters, her food still tastes good. Go figure.
A little side story on Karla and burnt food. When Karla eats steak or a hamburger she asks for it "Very, very, very" well done. I kid you not, she says very three times, every time, she orders.
The end result is a charred up hockey puck that looks totally inedible. You'd swear she had asked the waitress to call in a napalm strike to cook her burger, it looks that bad. There are no references to a "juicy" burger in regards to Karla.
One time I asked her, "Why don't you save everyone the trouble and just warm up a lump of charcoal in the microwave? That's basically what you're eating." I don't think Karla was amused.
Anyway, back to the dishes......
I have dry skin to begin with, but all these dishes have really done a number on my hands. I've never used so much hand lotion in all my life. At this point, I don't care how flowery and feminine the lotion smells either; my hands feel as if they are going to crack and fall off at the wrist. Hell, I may consider taking a bath in a tub of rose scented lotion....I just don't care right now.
Come to think of it, I should go buy some good old Corn Huskers lotion. That would make me feel a little more masculine and bring back some very fond memories of my granddad.
There are three things I distinctly remember about my granddad. He always wore overalls and he smelled of Skoal and Corn Huskers lotion. Ah, great memories. Yep, I'm putting Corn Huskers lotion on the grocery list.
The dishwasher is on a list that I've made out and dubbed the "Nickel and Dime" project. I've become obsessed with not only finding ways to save money but to also do it in a way that's better for the environment. Naturally, cleaning supplies and all their harsh chemicals, made the top of the list of things to shy away from.
With the help of a friend (Thank you, Wendopolis!!!!) I found this great website for making my own cleaning supplies. If you look on my list of favorite links you will find the site diyNatural......Check it out, it's awesome.
So I made my own dishwasher detergent -- it was a simple task to perform, and yet I couldn't helped being geeked up about it. But after my first load of dishes I found that I needed to tweak the process a bit. Everything looked good except for the glasses; they were clean, but covered in residue.
So I got on line and read that if I put a little vinegar in the rinse cycle it should help clear up the glasses and the problem......Nope.....Strike two. Dammit, man.
Then I read that areas with really hard water tend to create "cloudy" glasses when using natural cleaners. So, now what do I do?
I went and took a closer look at the dishwasher; whereupon I spied a "pots and pans" and "heated dry" setting......I wonder?
So with my next load of dishes, I put in my home made cleaner with vinegar and used the previously mentioned settings. While waiting for the cycle to complete I went to scrub the bathroom.....I'm not talking about the bathroom. It's a vile place....no one should ever have their head that close to a toilet seat. Blech!
When the cycle finished I practically skipped over to the dishwasher. You know that nerdy, science kid I spent my whole adolescent life trying not to be? Waste of effort. I now embrace my dorkiness.
In my excitement it never really registered in my head what "heated dry" really meant. I opened the door and was consumed by a rush of burning hot steam. For a moment I feared my face would melt right off of my skull, and I'm fairly certain I lost all of my nose hair. Damn.
You know, for idiots like me, there should be some kind of buzzer or bright red light to let me know I'm in some kind of danger. Better yet an automated voice warning me not to open the door.....Even better yet the voice should be Marilyn Monroe's. As I reach for the door Marilyn should say, in her sexiest and most sultry voice, "Careful, big boy, the contents within are........hot"
I smile at the possibility. Hell, I'd be inclined to do dishes more often then. I can just hear my daughter now, "Dad, the washer is only half full."
"Ah, close enough.....Fire it up."
I'm sorry, I forgot where I was..........Anyway, the dishes were so hot I had to walk away and wait for them to cool down enough to touch. But, it turned out to be worth the wait. Everything was clean and the glasses looked outstanding. Hooray!!!! Mission accomplished.
So now that I know that I have a natural cleaner for the dishwasher, it's on to make laundry detergent and a spray cleaner using vinegar and orange peels.
At the end of this day I feel I've made significant progress......Life is Good.... :)
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