I learned a few things over Christmas break....
1. The Kids....
When kids can't get outside, the house goes from humble abode to disaster area within minutes of them waking.....Hell, I smirked when I thought about the possibility of the Governor touring the house, declaring a state of emergency, and then applying for federal aid....I wonder how big the disaster recovery team would be?
You know that sad, unfortunate soul that has to follow the horses along the parade route with a shovel and broom? That's kind of how I felt; just walking (moping) around, smile upside down, and picking up huge piles of shit. Except that this parade would not end for weeks.....a most hopeless feeling indeed. In fact, I just threw my hands up in the air for a couple of those days during the break and just said to hell with it --- and then went and played video games.
I decided that I needed to put the kids to work; giving each a chore to do on a daily basis. That's when I found out that if I want it done right I have to be VERY SPECIFIC with my instructions.
I incorrectly assumed that when I asked Toby to load the dishwasher that he would also put detergent in it and turn the washer on.
Nope.....an hour later I opened up door to dry and put away the dishes only to find that they never got washed.
"Oh, you didn't tell me that."
No....I guess I didn't.
When I gave Tera laundry duty, I told her to check the washer and if there was anything in it she needed to switch it over to the dryer and then start a new load.
So Tera did exactly as she was told.
Later, when I opened the dryer to remove and fold the towels, my nostrils were assaulted by the stench of hot vinegar vapors. The towels that I used to clean the house never got washed.
"Oh my God" I gagged, "Tera, these towels are still dirty. Didn't you smell the vinegar?"
"You told me if there was anything in the washer that I needed to switch it over."
So I did.....I just didn't think I would have to tell her to make sure the laundry in the washer had been washed first.
In lieu of this child labor mess, I enacted a law in that every week for as long as they live under my roof, I am going to give the kids a chore and not tell them how to do it. I now realize that before, when I put them to work, I was always hovering over them and stepping in as soon as they started to do something wrong. I never allowed them a chance to think for themselves --- my bad as a parent.
And since I am not wild about this fly lady and her deep cleaning list that Karla so cheerfully gave me, I will be more than happy to pass this shit work on to the kids.....For building character and learning a life skill, of course.
2. Good single parents are incredible.....
The Christmas break has only been about two and a half weeks and I find myself amazed out how hard it is to keep the house clean when the little gremlins are running amok.
As I was doing what seemed like my millionth load of laundry (how much underwear does a person really need?), I began to wonder how a single parent keeps everything in order without going absolutely insane.
As a stay at home dad with a wife to bring home the bacon, my job is manageable; yet occasionally overwhelming. There are just those days when all hell breaks loose and I simply don't get done as much as I feel I should.
So how in the world does a single parent simultaneously play bread winner, homemaker, grocery getter, bill payer, and minion shuttle driver? I'm sure I missed a few things in there, but you get the idea.
There are only twenty four hours in a day......It's not hard to see why single parents, with bags under their eyes, appear to be on the verge of passing out. These poor souls are running themselves ragged. I bet their idea of a vacation is a quiet room, a beer or glass of wine, and no alarm clock.
3. Peeling potatoes can be therapeutic...
Honestly, I think I've been cooped up in the house too long and that my brain is beginning to atrophy.....
One evening Karla had me peel potatoes for a soup she was making. At first I grumbled about it because it is well known that, given my miserable track record, I am not wild about cooking.
But after I peeled my first potato I began to feel myself unwind. I don't know why, but there is something about peeling away the dirty brown skin and revealing the starchy white goodness beneath that I, for some totally odd reason, find very satisfying. Perhaps it is the visual perception of progress?
Or, more likely, that I am completely losing my mind?
I just can't explain it.....I feel at ease when I peel potatoes.
In times of stress there are those individuals that need yoga, expensive therapy, meditation, or pot.
I guess all I really need are a few spuds.
I will have to keep that in mind the next time the Chiefs or Cubs pull a choke job and rip the heart and soul out of me..........(Not that that hasn't happened recently....ahem)
Man.......that would take a lot of potatoes.....
No comments:
Post a Comment