It's crazy to think that I was seventeen and Karla was fifteen when we started dating; just pups. I think I would have a heart attack if Tera were to be in a relationship as serious as ours was as such a tender age.
I wonder how Tera would handle living in a convent? (Just kidding.....sort of....No, I'm kidding.......Maybe)
If not for Karla I would have never left the small town I grew up in. I would never have traveled and seen what the world had to offer. I would have never been open minded about trying new things --- (well, almost open minded....I'll at least consider now.)
I have, overall, become a much better person because of Karla.....
Not that the whole experience hasn't had it's drawbacks. I still struggle with anything that deals with a healthy dose of hobnobbing (something Karla is very adept at). Company parties, fund raisers --- just about anything where I have to use small talk is still a nightmare scenario for me....
I am just not a small talk person. I can't just shake hands with someone and rattle on and on and on about anything from work to hobbies to family. If I don't know you, or if I know you but haven't seen you in a long time, I find whole process exceedingly difficult.....Unless I've already slammed a few beers, then I'm ok.
So Karla has come to accept that if she can at least get forty five minutes to an hour out of me then all is well...She will then release me so that I may either go home or to our hotel room; never to be seen or heard from again...
The one thing that she really pushed me on is traveling; and I have grown to almost love it. If I could just somehow skip the airport I would be more than happy to travel all the time.
Over the years Karla has learned that, while planning out a vacation, she has to work in some down time for me. If she doesn't, by the end of day two of vacation I get really tired and surly. I have to have some time to myself in a quiet setting or things start to unravel.
Karla, just like her Dad, is an insane planner. (And I mean that with the greatest affection) If she had her way the vacation itinerary would begin at the ass crack of dawn with a set time and duration of stay for every place we go to. We would have a half an hour to wolf down lunch and then resume hauling ass from one place to the next until the sun went down.
I wouldn't have any idea what we were eating for supper because I would be taking advantage of the down time to get a nap in.
Oh.....we had steak? I'll take your word for it.
Then we get back to the hotel room late at night and while I am already passed out in one bed; Karla is sitting crossed legged in the other, pen in mouth, area map spread out and things to do brochures scattered everywhere.
I fall asleep to the sound of, "And then when we finish here we can go........."
ZZZZZZZZZ
One of the best parts of having kids is that both Tera and Toby love amusement park rides; which means Karla now has someone to ride with. The latest trip to Disney World was a blast. Karla and the kids got on the rides while I, for the most part, sat on a bench and waited for them.
(I did manage to get on a few....and only regretted getting on one. I'll never trust the kids again.)
I suffer from motion sickness and while I am aware that I could take a pill, get on the rides, and be just fine the drawback is that the pills, while not completely knocking me out, make me very groggy. Which really just kills the vacation.
(I have since discovered the patch....But that is a story for another day.)
I remember when Karla and I went to Disney World before kids. There was this ride called Body Wars that Karla wanted us to get on.
I distinctly remember reading the sign in big letters clearly stating that if you suffer from motion sickness then this is most definitely not the ride for you.
"Um, dear....I don't think I should do this."
To this day, I can hear her response as plain as day.
"Don't be a pussy.....Get on."
"What did you say?"
Well, my manhood had been challenged.....What choice did I have?
The Angel was on one shoulder pleading with me to listen to the voice of reason.
"Tom, do not be tempted by her foul words....You know this ride will render you utterly useless. Please, I beg of you."
The Devil was on the other shoulder.
"Did you hear what she said to you? Are you just going to take that? You have to prove yourself. If you don't get on that ride you may as well just stuff your testicles into her purse.....Well, unless they are already there....You wuss."
Needles to say, Pride won out.
The Body Wars is/was a simulator ride. There is a large movie screen in front of you and your chair, or in this case the entire ride, moves in correspondence with the actions performed on the screen.
"Well, this doesn't seem so bad." I thought as I buckled myself into the chair.
The buckle.....Yes, the buckle should have clued me in.
The movie on the screen started and some guy was going on and on about how we were being shrunk down so that we can ride a body probe vehicle inside the human body to do....do....I don't know......something.
JUST GET THE DAMN SHOW ON THE ROAD!!!!
The next thing I know I hear about some poor schmuck getting sucked into a capillary and that we must go after her.
"Here we go!!!!"
On the movie screen the ship nose dived straight down and into a capillary. Suddenly the entire room jerked violently to life; I could feel the ill fitting belt buckle digging into my waist. As the room dropped, so did my stomach. It felt as if I had been punched in the gut and I could taste vomit in the back of my throat.
"OH MY GOD!!!"
I swallowed hard and closed my eyes so as not to see the movie screen....It was my only defense.
The room rumble and jerked, shook and rattled and I was quite certain that my bowels would turn to water and that some unfortunate janitor would be hating his job in the near future.
I opened my eyes just enough to see the poor teenage girl sitting beside me, stricken with fear. Not by the ride, but by the sweaty idiot nearing the blow chunks phase of the ride.
I have no idea how long the ride lasted, but it felt like an eternity. When it finally ended, I opened my eyes and saw that the teenage girl that was in the seat next to me was long gone; she had no intention of sticking around and seeing the launch.
I wobbled out of my chair thankful that I, so far, didn't blow chunks. When I got outside I saw my loving wife with a (slightly) remorseful look on her face.
"I am so sorry."
"Karla...If I ever get to feeling better I'm going to kick your ass."
I believe Karla took that as meaning apology accepted because what she said next absolutely floored me.
"Well, the next ride is really tame. You'll see."
Are you shitting me? Really?
I was so sick I don't even remember what the ride was....Hell, I don't even remember getting on it. I do remember laying my head on the side of the ride and wishing like Hell we could just go back to our hotel room.
"Tom get your head and arm back inside the ride or your going to lose them."
"Ugh....I don't care.....Just let me die...."
The next day Karla wanted to go tour MGM studios.....I, myself, had had quite enough. I wanted no part of Walt and his wild rides. I wanted no part of getting on a bus.....I wanted no interaction with the outside world......I curled up in bed while Karla went to MGM by herself.
She just couldn't understand.....Why is he being such a kill joy?
Oh, I don't know, maybe it's because you nearly sent me to the hospital yesterday.
Ah....Memories....
But if not for Karla I wouldn't have vacation memories, good or bad, because I simply wouldn't have went.
My world would have been a much smaller and ignorant place without her. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be even half the man I am without her and for that I am eternally grateful.
Thank you, Karla, for pulling me (forcibly) out of my shell and showing me what a wonderful world this mysterious place called earth can be. It's been a wonderful ride.
Well, not the amusement park rides....Those suck.
Happy Valentine's Day, dear......
http://grooveshark.com/s/A+Real+Fine+Place+To+Start/4LU6Ye?src=5
:)
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