The week that was.....so far...
The Library
To watch Tera get her first library card you would think it was a driver's license. Well, then again, Tera has no desire to drive. She doesn't want a cell phone either. So I guess the excitement about the library card is justified.
She checked out three books; had one read by the time we got home and was seventy pages into her next book by the time Karla got home.
Toby? Well, he pulled a book off the shelf and looked at the cover.....I guess that's a start.
Batting Practice
In her last tournament, Tera really struggled at the plate. I was out in the yard setting up the tees and hitting net when Toby offered to work with her. Hell, why not? Toby has really made a connection with both of his coaches this year; both of whom have done a lot to help him work the kinks out of his swing. To say that Toby has been swinging a hot bat is a slight understatement. His been absolutely ripping it up.
I took a back seat and watched. I was pleasantly surprised to see how well these two siblings worked together. They spent at least an hour out in the yard working on Tera's swing and by the end she looked like a completely different hitter.
But her swing takes a back seat to how pleased I was to see how well they got along. With five years in between them, they don't always see eye to eye. But after what I just saw I'm quite positive that they will be there for each other when needed. This pleases me greatly....
Ah --- Road Construction
I know that the maintenance of our roads is a necessary chore; but that doesn't make it any less aggravating. It's only June and I'm already sick of the color orange.....and I'm also sick of the idiots that speed up and veer recklessly into my lane, wedging their way in just feet in front of me, because their lane is ending.
Did you not see the merge left sign posted, oh, about a mile back? Did you not notice that everyone BUT YOU was in the left lane already? It's okay pal, don't sweat it. I needed to test my brakes out anyway. Yup, I can go from 40 to 10 in half a second to avoid hitting and obliterating your rear end...Thanks for the safety check, prick.....
I wonder if it's possible to mount a rocket launcher on a Cobalt?
I think I'll write a song called "Asshole in a Kia"....It has a nice ring to it.
Or maybe I'll just do what a friend of mine used to do. Whenever traffic came to an orange crawl he would roll down his window, get a bottle out of the glove box......and blow bubbles.
I have to admit....that would be a relaxing way to alleviate some road rage. Plus, I don't think "Asshole in a Kia" is going to be a top ten hit.
A Bad Day to Be a Beetle
Batting practice was going ok until Tera saw a beetle scurrying across home plate. Tera, completely terrified of bugs, froze solid in the batter's box. I could have thrown a half a dozen balls over the plate and she would have never seen it. Her eyes never left the large black beetle that unknowingly wandered into a danger zone.
I was half expecting her to scream and see what was left of the beetle smeared on the business end of her bat. Instead she quietly stepped out of the box and waited for the retched creature to leave the field.
About the time the beetle reached the first base line our littlest player, whom we have nicknamed Cheetah, saw the bug and proceeded to follow.
"Should I kill it?" she asks, hovering over it as if she were a gladiator standing over her fallen adversary and patiently waiting for the mob to decide it's fate.
Maybe I'm just getting soft in my old age, but I just can't kill anything anymore. I gave up hunting years ago but have been prodded lately by Toby to take him turkey hunting. I will probably break down at some point, but my heart just isn't in it.
"I think I saw that beetle in "A Bug's Life"", I said in what I already knew was a weak and worthless effort to prevent a creepy crawlies untimely demise, "He's not hurting anyone, just let him go on about his business."
Then came a voice out of Tera's mouth that was gravely and alarmingly vicious. It kind of reminded me of Maleficent from the movie Sleeping Beauty --- "And know you deal with me, and all the powers of HELL!!!!"
"KILL IT!!!!" she screamed as flames spewed from her mouth.
Cheetah gleefully followed her orders.
STOMP...CRUNCH.
After taking her foot off her victim, Cheetah's nose curls up, her eyes squint, and she frowns in disgust......."Oh, gross, it's still moving!"
STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP
"There", said Cheetah, "I got it."
Tera, convinced that this foul, demonic, beetle had been vanquished, steps back into the batter's box, satisfied that all is well in the world; batting practice may now resume.
Little barbarians.......Just a couple of little barbarians.
Godzilla
I remember when I was a kid channel five, one of only three channels our tv got, would occasionally run monster week in the afternoon. As soon as the bell rang at school I was off and running; and I was so excited that I didn't stop running until I got home. My side hurt terribly and my little lungs burned as I wheezed and coughed my way into the house... But that was okay..... I was not about to miss my Godzilla movies. Even if it meant getting in trouble because I left my little brother behind.
"Where's Tim?" Mom would ask....
Tim? Tim, who? Can't you see the movie is starting?
So you can just imagine my excitement when Tera asked me to take her to the new Godzilla movie. Hooray!!!!
We asked Toby if he wanted to go but he declined. He's a lot like Karla in a sense. Neither one of them find scary movies or monster movies very amusing. Pfft......they don't know what they're missing.
It was an awesome movie and, I'm proud to say, I made it through without going to the bathroom.
I apologize......I have a hang up about the movies and urination......
Years ago, when I was much younger, I drank a beer before going in to see (unbeknownst to me at the time) a three hour movie. There was no intermission and my bladder nearly exploded. I was determined not to miss any part of this movie that I had paid a small fortune to see (which is why I don't go to the movies very often) and by the end I was rocking back and forth in my seat. Karla denied she ever knew me and everyone else around me began to wonder what mental ailment I was suffering from and why wasn't I wearing my helmet.
As soon as the movie was over I vaulted out of my seat and ran as fast as an individual with a full bladder possible could to the bathroom. My need was great and I feared I would not make it.
The best way to describe the situation? How about fifty pounds of potatoes wedged into a ten pound bag? Yes, the situation was painfully dire.......But, luckily (and I seriously mean luckily) I made it.
Immense pressure = immense relief.
I swear that was the longest pee I ever took in my entire life; and I was happy about it. But, smiling in a public restroom is not advisable.....it kind of creeps people out.
Anyway, since that incident I have had this irrational fear that I will once again have to pee midway through a movie.
So right before we leave the house, I go to the bathroom. As soon as we get to the movie theater, I go to the bathroom. By the time Tera and I have take our seats I have not had anything for drink for about two hours and have no intention on drinking anything until we are at least twenty minutes into the movie.
I can make it.....I can make it......
I got on google to see if perhaps there is some kind of phobia about having to pee in the middle of a movie but I didn't find anything.
But I did feel better to know that there are other emotionally unstable movie goers like myself.
Did you know there is an app out there call RunPee? It finds three to five minutes scenes that are not critical to the plot and lets you know that then would be a great time to make a run for it.
I also found a "To Pee or Not to Pee" flow chart. (I bet Mr. Shakespeare is rolling over in his grave)
But I don't need those things....I'm not that bad....No, really. I'm not.
Seriously....
Anyway, Tera and I enjoyed the movie. I think Maleficent will be our next outing together.
I can make it......I can make it....
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