My Support Group

When I first announced that I was going to be a stay at home dad I did it thinking that this was a journey I would be taking by myself.  I couldn't have been more wrong.

The outpouring of support has been absolutely incredible.  One sister in law has offered to teach me to cook, another, a Doctor and one time voracious label reader, has been sharing her experiences with the stay at home parent, both her and her husband had a tour of duty on the home front.  She's also going to be a great source of information in regards to eating healthy.

In one of my earlier posts I complained about cleaning the microwave; I basically thought  I would need acid and a jack hammer to clean it.  The same day that I posted the blog a friend of mine responded back and told me that she took vinegar and water in a bowl, microwaved it for five minutes, and then wiped away the mess.

It sounded to simple........and it was.  It worked like a champ.  This same friend also recommended that I take a look at the site www.pinterest.com for other cheap and easy cleaning ideas.  If you look on my list of favorite links you will notice that I added pinterest to the list.  I'm just getting started on it and,  to be honest, I'm a little overwhelmed. But I can already see that this site is going to be a huge help.

Along with the support there has been this kind of positive energy that you can almost reach out and touch.  I've been told over and over again that I made a great decision and that I'll be just fine once I adjust to the new schedule.

When I told a soon to be former co-worker (hi, Laura!) that I was nervous about what lay ahead of me, she looked me in the eye and said.  "Your son has been taking care of his sister all this summer.  If he can do it, you can do it."

That was just what I needed to hear.  Thanks, Laura.  It was a good shot in the arm.  :)

Like I said, the support has been huge.......from all the women.

So far only a small handful of guys have told me what that I was doing was cool - my brother and a few friends.  (In fact, one of my male co-workers was jealous, "Dude, that is like the dream job.")

That being said, I think the guys who know me are supportive.  They just don't say so.  More than once Karla has accused us men as being "Socially Constipated."

However, there was that nagging doubt in the back of my mind about what I was about to embark on and how it was going to be perceived.  In fact I was kind of expecting some kind of sympathy card in the mail from some of my more "traditionally" minded friends:

"Dear Tom,
            I was sad to hear about the passing of your testicles.  Maybe, one day, they will grow back.  Call me when they do and we'll go fishing.

                                                          Signed,
                                                                ED"


As a society we have an unhealthy fixation on traditional roles.  I grew up with the whole, "a woman's place is in the home" and the man is "the bread winner."

Well, what if the woman is smarter than the man?

I make no bones about it, from an intelligence standpoint, I don't hold a candle to Karla.  She graduated from KU in three years with a degree in business.  My granddad absolutely loved her and always said, "That girl is sharp as a tack."

She loves the whole corporate environment and the idea of moving up the ladder; her organizational skills are incredible.  Me?  I want nothing to do with the corporate rat race and have a hard time just figuring out what I want to eat for supper.

So it's obvious to me that there is a role reversal playing itself out.  Karla came right out and said, "I love my kids, but if I don't work I will go crazy."  I, myself, love the idea of staying home and learning to cook and clean and being there when the kids get home.

So, here I am, doing my part to obliterate the idea of traditional roles, one dad at a time.

This whole experience, even though it's in it's infancy, has been a real eye opener for me.  My respect for women, while always healthy, has grown exponentially.  I honestly feel that if I ever need help all I will have to do is reach out......I will get an answer.  The ladies I've come into contact with have made me feel a part of the group.

Sadly, it doesn't work as well the other way.  If a woman wants to step into what is traditionally seen as a man's role she isn't met with quite the same enthusiasm from her male counterparts.  That needs to change.

If a woman is good enough to be a kicker for an NFL team then, by God, she should be able chase that dream without getting odd looks or becoming part of a media circus.

If a woman wants to be the CEO of a fortune 500 company and has the intelligence and tenacity to do it, then there should be no glass ceiling holding her down.

If a woman wants to be a plumber and show her butt crack to world just like all the other guys.  Then, by all means, have at it.

And in all those cases she should come home to the supportive husband that has been holding down the fort while she was playing the role of bread winner.

I understand my role......and I will do it to the best of my abilities.