This is day whatever without coffee. In my attempt to be caffeine free I am suffering through some nasty withdrawals. I was well aware of the headaches and irritability but had no clue my body could actually ache. Today's writing has been a struggle.
Read at your own risk......
A Most Foul Stench
Cast: King D, Peasant T, and Teralyn the graceful (Tera: "You guys are weird, leave me alone")
KD: (staring at PT) "Good God!!! What foul stench bestinketh thee? Oh, wretched son, what foul demon hast crawled up thine hind quarters and died?"
PT: (shaking his head vehemently in denial) "Nay, tis not I. I sweareth, I passeth naught. Methinks said stink emanates from yonder ice box."
KD: "Hmm.....Art thou certain?"
PT: "Nay, but me caughteth a most unpleasant whiff whence Teralyn openeth the door."
KD: "What say you, Teralyn? What putrid demon lurks behind yonder ice box door?"
Tera: "You're both weird....I'm going to my room."
KD: "Wait, I beg of you!!!! Whilst thou not come to mine aid?"
(Tera enters her room and slams the door.)
KD: "Ungrateful wench.....You make me sad."
PT: "It appeareth that thou art screwed.....Methinks I, too, shall retire to mine quarters."
KD: "NAY!!!! Thine King needeth thou."
PT: "Nay, worthy, methinks am not."
?????? (Me: What the hell, are you Yoda now? Toby: I dunno)
KD: "Yay, thou art most worthy. Thy time for a quest hath cometh."
PT: "Quest?"
KD: "Yay....Thou shalt ride to the land of GE (general electric) and rid mine castle of this malodorous beast. What say you?"
PT: "Doth I have to?"
KD: "Yeah, verily......and a peasant no more, shalt thou be. I dub thee, Sir Tobin."
(Toby: "Yeah, I've got something for you to dub.")
KD: "What?"
PT ST: "I speaketh naught. (sighing, and walking with slumped shoulders) To yonder fridge doth thine ride."
(The King makes his exit.......I don't want to be anywhere near the fridge when Toby opens it. After much sniffing around and a full on gag, the culprit has been found.)
ST: (GAG) "Come hither and see what I hath found!!!"
KD: "Nay, my good man. Mine nose smelleth thine discovery from whence I sit."
ST: "Thou must see!!!!"
KD: "Nay!!!!! Stay ba......AAAHH, (gag) Holy bat crap, rat man.....What.....is.....it?"
ST: "It be cabbage, my lord."
KD: (eyes watering, nose buried under shirt) "Cabbage? Whence did we last partake of cabbage?"
ST: "Me does not recalleth the last time we partook of cabbage. Me fear it has been a goodly length in times past."
KD: "Blech!!!! By my troth, it be most foul......I bid you, take it away!!!!"
ST: "Right!!!! To the trash!!!"
KD: "Nay, Sir Tobin!! This moldy monstrosity cannot be disposeth within these beautious castle walls.....It must be taken and cast into the pit of compostium!! Therein, it can rot with all the other foul beasts!!!!
ST: "The pit of compostium? Nay, thou art truly unworthy of such a quest. Thou must doeth this, my lord."
KD: "May I asketh why thou aren't worthy?"
ST: "Oneth: the last quest hath sickened me. Twoeth: I am in dire need to go thither to yonder privy. Thee,um, eth: I am but in me stocking'd feet, thou art wearing boots and, therefore, prepared for thy journey beyond the castle and to the pit of compostium."
KD: "Right!!!! Thou art an observant shit head. Very well, passeth the cabbage."
ST: "Right!"
KD: "Now, openeth the gate so that I my rideth to the pit!!!!"
ST: "Fare thee well, my Lord!! Ride fast; come back with your shield, or come back on it!!!"
????????
KD: "Um, isn't that a line out of the movie 300?"
ST: "Well, yeah......But it sounds cool, doesn't it?"
KD: "RIGHT!"
ST: "RIGHT!"
KD: "TO THE PIT!!!!"
ST: "AY!!!! TO THE PIT, MY LORD!!!!"
Once again, I apologize. I'm not sure if this no coffee thing is going to work. Now, if you would kindly excuse me, I'm going to take a nap. My head is killing me.
KD: (staring at PT) "Good God!!! What foul stench bestinketh thee? Oh, wretched son, what foul demon hast crawled up thine hind quarters and died?"
PT: (shaking his head vehemently in denial) "Nay, tis not I. I sweareth, I passeth naught. Methinks said stink emanates from yonder ice box."
KD: "Hmm.....Art thou certain?"
PT: "Nay, but me caughteth a most unpleasant whiff whence Teralyn openeth the door."
KD: "What say you, Teralyn? What putrid demon lurks behind yonder ice box door?"
Tera: "You're both weird....I'm going to my room."
KD: "Wait, I beg of you!!!! Whilst thou not come to mine aid?"
(Tera enters her room and slams the door.)
KD: "Ungrateful wench.....You make me sad."
PT: "It appeareth that thou art screwed.....Methinks I, too, shall retire to mine quarters."
KD: "NAY!!!! Thine King needeth thou."
PT: "Nay, worthy, methinks am not."
?????? (Me: What the hell, are you Yoda now? Toby: I dunno)
KD: "Yay, thou art most worthy. Thy time for a quest hath cometh."
PT: "Quest?"
KD: "Yay....Thou shalt ride to the land of GE (general electric) and rid mine castle of this malodorous beast. What say you?"
PT: "Doth I have to?"
KD: "Yeah, verily......and a peasant no more, shalt thou be. I dub thee, Sir Tobin."
(Toby: "Yeah, I've got something for you to dub.")
KD: "What?"
(The King makes his exit.......I don't want to be anywhere near the fridge when Toby opens it. After much sniffing around and a full on gag, the culprit has been found.)
ST: (GAG) "Come hither and see what I hath found!!!"
KD: "Nay, my good man. Mine nose smelleth thine discovery from whence I sit."
ST: "Thou must see!!!!"
KD: "Nay!!!!! Stay ba......AAAHH, (gag) Holy bat crap, rat man.....What.....is.....it?"
ST: "It be cabbage, my lord."
KD: (eyes watering, nose buried under shirt) "Cabbage? Whence did we last partake of cabbage?"
ST: "Me does not recalleth the last time we partook of cabbage. Me fear it has been a goodly length in times past."
KD: "Blech!!!! By my troth, it be most foul......I bid you, take it away!!!!"
ST: "Right!!!! To the trash!!!"
KD: "Nay, Sir Tobin!! This moldy monstrosity cannot be disposeth within these beautious castle walls.....It must be taken and cast into the pit of compostium!! Therein, it can rot with all the other foul beasts!!!!
ST: "The pit of compostium? Nay, thou art truly unworthy of such a quest. Thou must doeth this, my lord."
KD: "May I asketh why thou aren't worthy?"
ST: "Oneth: the last quest hath sickened me. Twoeth: I am in dire need to go thither to yonder privy. Thee,um, eth: I am but in me stocking'd feet, thou art wearing boots and, therefore, prepared for thy journey beyond the castle and to the pit of compostium."
KD: "Right!!!! Thou art an observant shit head. Very well, passeth the cabbage."
ST: "Right!"
KD: "Now, openeth the gate so that I my rideth to the pit!!!!"
ST: "Fare thee well, my Lord!! Ride fast; come back with your shield, or come back on it!!!"
????????
KD: "Um, isn't that a line out of the movie 300?"
ST: "Well, yeah......But it sounds cool, doesn't it?"
KD: "RIGHT!"
ST: "RIGHT!"
KD: "TO THE PIT!!!!"
ST: "AY!!!! TO THE PIT, MY LORD!!!!"
Once again, I apologize. I'm not sure if this no coffee thing is going to work. Now, if you would kindly excuse me, I'm going to take a nap. My head is killing me.
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