Decaffeinated...

I have completely forgotten how many days I've gone without coffee; but, for the love of Pete, I've got to be getting to the end of these withdrawal symptoms.  This flat out sucks.

The headaches are always the worst.....What do I mean by always?  I mean I've been through this before ---- several times.  And, so far, every attempt at getting off the coffee has ended in miserable failure.

But the fatigue has been a lot worse this time around.  Every day last week I literally dozed off in the middle of my household chores.  You know you're having problems when you fall asleep standing up in front of the clothes dryer.

And my lack of focus has been absolutely horrible.  I haven't been able to watch a movie or a football game straight through without wandering off to do something else.  That is, of course, if I haven't fallen asleep first.

And reading books and writing?  Forget it.  For those that need an example of how scatter brained I've been just refer back to my last post.....I have no idea where that crazy bat shit came from.

For certain, I haven't been able to hold a decent conversation at all lately.  Any social interaction with me in the last week has started out with me listening attentively only to deteriorate into me hearing nothing but the voice of Charlie Brown's school teacher...."Wah, wah-wah, wa, wah?

Irritable?  Oh, hell yes!!!  Pass the Midol and leave me alone.

Actually, throughout all of this, I've done a fairly decent job of keeping my short fuse from getting lit.  As I've gotten older I have learned how to keep my mouth shut when I'm not in a good mood.  There is no doubt in my mind that some of the stupidest things I've ever said were as the result of me popping off when I'm angry.....No sir, lip... is..... zipped.

My confirmation that I'm handling my temper in satisfactory fashion is that Karla hasn't shoved a steaming hot cup of joe into my hand and told me, "Here, drink this before you become a missing person."

I don't know what it is about coffee that's so difficult.  I once gave up beer and pizza for over a year and didn't have any problems with it at all.  And when I went back to the suds and pepperoni it was at nowhere near the frequency that it used to be.

Now chocolate is another story......

One year, I thought  I would be a good husband and support my Catholic wife.  For Lent, I decided that Karla would not abstain alone; I resolved to give up chocolate. For those of you that know me, this is a huge commitment; a commitment that turned out to be a really rough ride.

Six weeks with no Snickers bars or Reese's peanut butter cups; no Russell Stover's, no truffles.  I literally looked at the calendar every day and counted down the days until this self induced torture was over.

At week five I looked at Karla, shook my head, and huffed.  "Only one more week to go."

"For what?"  Karla asked.

"One more week until Lent is over," I said, quite certain that I was shaking, "Then I can eat some chocolate."

"You gave up chocolate?"  she asked.

My chest puffed out with pride as I exclaimed, "Yes, dear, I did.  I didn't want you to go through Lent alone."

"Well, that's sweet," said Karla, "But I didn't give anything up for Lent."

??????????

She then smiled and whispered, "I guess I'm not a very good Catholic."

Then she left me standing there, shaking and a little bit pissed.

I sucked it up and made through the last week of Lent.....Then I fell off the wagon in a big way.

Yes, giving up chocolate was rough; but it still doesn't hold a candle to coffee.  The only thing about the chocolate that was rough was the cravings. I didn't have headaches or the extreme fatigue like I dealing with now.  (I was a little grumpy, though)

So why am I doing this?  Quite simply, I don't like the idea that I am so dependent on coffee.  While it is true that we all have things that we depend on; I would rather it be my family or a chocolate bar as opposed to coffee.  Because neither one of those things mess with me the way coffee does.

I honestly thought my coffee addiction would be better now that I'm not working full time.  The reality of it is that it's gotten a lot worse.  I  doubled my coffee consumption since I started staying home, and it really needed to stop.  Coffee when I get up, coffee when I write, coffee when I'm working around the house, coffee just because.

I have found that drinking too much coffee gives me heartburn and heart palpitations, which has me a little bit concerned.

So the coffee drinking has to stop.  Sure, I could cut back, but I would rather just go cold turkey and kick Mr. Juan Valdez and his stupid ass clean out of my house.  I've fallen off the wagon too many times when I try to simply cut back.  No, this time I am giving it up for good.

The one good thing about not guzzling the java is that I am now downing a butt load of water.

(By the way, what is the exact measurement of a butt load?  Is it different here than it is in Europe?  Kind of like the meter and the yard?  I would guess, being in the land of excess, that a butt load is a lot more here than it is in Europe.....But that's just a guess)

The bad things is that I'm going to the bathroom constantly....I'm waiting for my bladder to rebel.

But, I have also been sleeping a lot better at night.  So, who knows, once I get through the withdrawals maybe I won't ever be tired enough to want a cup of joe.

I guess I will find out soon enough.....I'm not going to fail this time.  I simply won't allow it to happen.....